wat bout pragnant strippers??
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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