We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
