I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
