Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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