just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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