john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
