Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
