i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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