you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Randomize
