its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
