Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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