Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
