First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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