honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
