I wanna passion pit in your ass
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
