Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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