this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
