thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Send help, water and tortillas.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
