i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
