i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i out mim tonsoeep
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