is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
