Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
