My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
