she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
