I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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