I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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