This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
