watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
