mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he puts the penis in happiness.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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