your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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