He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
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