its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
how drunk are you?
Several
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
