Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
