So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
