How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
soo... how was my night?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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