Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Success! We fucked roommates!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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