and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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