You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
