My room smells like vodka and shame
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
