Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
