i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
