You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
