Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I love having hate sex.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
