I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
