if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
