Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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