Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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