the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
