i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
