I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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