i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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