She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
