i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
